"this pit"

there is a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach
it keeps coming back, it keeps on bubbling
it tells me things, whispers in my ear,
it tells me not to let the doctors get near
that paranoia, these traits of this disorder!!!!

this screaming in my head
won't stop
and i wouldn't want it to,
i need the voices
i remember better.

fuck, FUCK
i am in this pit somewhere
somewhere bright where you would expect dark...
maybe you see it too?
it is smiling at us now
until we get close enough and see its crooked teeth,
it already has us in its grasp;
we gasp and run forward knowing
each step is one closer to the past
and there are one hundred feet left.
smile, like they said.
that's all you have to do:
smile to the finish line,
and hope you reach it in marathon time.