"Logging On"

Through the night when I can't sleep...

I live online- never learned to count sheep.
When I tried to climb,
I fell on my back because the hill was too steep-
Medication withdrawal is slow and it creeps

Then it punches and kicks and it shows you its teeth,
As it pulls you down by your shirt to your feet.
Until you are curled in a ball in the street,
Your face melting off like rapids in a stream.

Like an acid laced dream,
This dimension is not what it seems,
You realize quickly that you're all alone,
No comfort, no hope, no love, no home.

We did this to ourselves, why were we wired this way?
Why wouldn't we let the doctors have any say?

You believe there's a preprogrammed way we should behave?
We should bend to your scriptures and make ourselves slaves?

We wrote those old scriptures so let's write some more,
Some with a semblance of answers, not just open doors.
Not just wooden floor rotting, termites at the core-
Something with substance that lifts us up, that's genuine and pure.

Something that brings us together for once,
Instead of sending us on frantic witch hunts.
We can find common ground,
We can find something to live for.

Instead of pretending in rewards after life,
Let's live every day knowing that we will die.
It puts me at peace, it puts me at ease,
To know that someday I can finally sleep.

I won't die yet but I am not afraid,
Those feelings all left me when you left this place.
You should have lived and it should've been me,
And though they won't say it I know your family agrees.

And I'm happy they do if it relieves even some pain,
Because the fact that you're gone is simply insane,
I thought not to help you and now it's too late,
I'm burning in hell and you're in heaven unconscious and safe.

Drifting, your atoms float endlessly through space.