"the living world"

I feel like a ghost,

Drifting in and out of the living world.

Can they touch me?

Can they see me?

Do they hear me?

Or am I invisible today?

"tailspins"

Time isn’t making sense to me again…

I’m unhinged, trapped in another one of these tailspins.

In that moment, suspended, I am the holy trinity:

The plane, the man, and the whirlwind.

Knowing the destruction

That inevitably awaits the landing,

I find myself laughing, for once,

And feeling fantastic.

In real life, I am staring at the ceiling,

Dreaming of having feelings…

To me, things you call normal,

They aren’t what they seem,

And this place, it feels

Like an untouchable dream.

I don’t know what day it is

When I wake up anymore,

And I can’t remember if yesterday happened…

Or if it was a dream…

This is borderline psychosis-

Enough to push you over the edge.

I am playing the role of an acrobat,

Practicing this mental balancing act.

"Listen and shut up too (fuck the family)"

You have no right to speak on me

And my behavior negatively;

You do not know me one bit,

You fake piece of shit.

You don’t know when these events occurred,

And you sure didn’t give a fuck back then.

If you gave a fuck or knew me,

You would have talked to me

When I was going through a mental crisis

At the most unstable time in my life.

As it is now, motherfucker leave me be,

I don’t need your critiques.

So now please, stop being a bitch

And pretending to care.

It is pitiful,

Laughable,

Dealing with a douchebag

Who tries to act affable.

I would rather slit my wrists (no shit),

And stick needles into my eyes,

Than be forced to listen to

Your fucking kid cry.

Shit. Please.

Don’t get me started again!

Because you invited these fucking loud

Reactionary notes,

That I have no plans to end.

By poking your nose where it doesn’t go.