"euthanize me."

Please euthanize me,

At the very least lobotomize me,

Desensitize me, violently abuse me,

Consume me.

Take everything that makes me me,

Steal it, smash it, make it bleed.

Help me understand why I cannot understand,

Why I still stand and haven’t turned into a plant.

I don’t deserve this place on your shelf;

But I do belong in hell, so this world suits me well.

There is nothing to hope for,

Just echoes and reflections of another life you will never have.

Why am I above ground,

Why am I not ash,

Why wasn’t I first?

I’m always coming in last.